Children look toward adults as though grown-up’s have the answers; why else would adults spend so much of their time advising their young on how to behave, how to think and what to wear? Unfortunately adults don’t always know the answers and the truth is that sometimes we have absolutely no idea what to do. Sure, you can tie your own shoe laces, create a meal, hold a conversation or do your job but life is a new frontier and almost everyday there are many situations in life that are new to us.
It’s a sunny Sunday in paradise and her tells her that he has a job to do that will take an hour. Three hours later she calls him concerned. He doesn’t answer. Five minutes later he returns the call angry that he’s being disturbed - she doesn’t know what to do.
A 10 year old boy is ruling the conversations of a small community with his bullying. Everyone is talking about him; the parents, the teachers, the school principal, the board of trustee’s. This is the first time the community have seen a bully of this magnitude and no one knows quite what to do.
Life is a series of firsts. Yes, we may have seen the house in which we live and the characters that feature in our life story are familiar but our daily scripts are often ‘firsts’ and can often feel new to us.
A mother of three was searching for a delicious meal she’d found online the week before and got something less tasty to chew on; her darling husband had been perusing teenage pornography. What should she do? She’d hit a ‘first’.
A man loses his job, his younger wife is pregnant and his job prospects at 49 years of age are dismal. This is a ‘first’ for him.
Firsts can come in small packages too: The frustrated wife snaps at him over dinner. Their son is caught lying. We’re betrayed by a dear friend.
Next time we encounter confusion or uncertainty in life then call it what it is - a first. Everywhere, everyone, no matter how cool, calm and collected they may appear, is having them every-single-day. What to do? Grab a pen. Write out the first in the centre of a blank piece of paper and write idea’s on what you could do, around it. One of these idea’s will feel right, look right or sound right - Do that. Assess the results and if successful, repeat. If unsuccessful, try another option.