Get the winning edge by knowing a few things others don't.
1. If you're curious who is the most popular person in a group - look around them as they're laughing - people always look toward the person they feel most comfortable with, or the group leader
2. If you're nervous or anxious, chew gum because it tells your unconscious mind that you're relaxed enough to eat and you'll relax...
3. When someone else is feeling angry, remain calm. It'll infuriate them and give you the moral high ground.
4. If you'd like someone to reveal their secrets, ask a question and when they pause, maintain eye contact and remain silent. They'll take that as a cue they've not answered the question sufficiently and will go on to reveal all.
5. To improve your mood smile broadly. You'll start to release happy chemicals into your blood stream and your mood will lighten.
6. If you're not feeling confident, fake it, no one else will know the difference.
7. If you see someone who you'd like to win over, show extra exuberance (think teenage girls squealing and throwing their arms around one another except, do the adult version). They may be startled and overwhelmed but they'll LOVE it. The next time you meet their unconscious mind will anticipate your delight and endorphins will flood their system.
8. If you'd like to get someone to say yes, ask them 1-2 large favors which they'll say 'no' too, they'll be relieved to agree to your final, smaller request.
9. Excitement and anxiety feel the same, change the meaning of your emotion and your experience will change.
10. If you'd like to tone down a confrontation with a disgruntled collegue during a meeting, sit next to them, they'll lose gusto if they don't have the rest of the team 'on their side'.
11. If you want to lead a group then act like the leader, they'll believe you deserve the role
12. Line walls with mirrors to encourage good behavior. No one likes to see themselves behaving badly.
13. Notice someone's eye color when you meet, they'll feel 'seen' by you.
14. Take someone on a first date to somewhere exhilarating. The after-math of elation is heightened affection.
15. "You'll always be judged on your shoes" - my grandmother used to say and it turns out she was right, sorta. Peoples feet point toward the people they're interested in, and away from people who they aren't. Notice peoples feet, they speak volumes.